My Father, a Beacon Guiding Me Home

My life has been so blessed. I am filled with emotions today as I write this. Today is Father's Day. And it's been rough. 

Yesterday, Husbandfriend and I went out to the lake with his side of the familia. It was so much fun (even though I couldn't get in the water). I'm lucky enough to have wonderful in-laws that literally see me as one of their own. We stayed the night and made plans to have breakfast this morning and then head home for church.

Upon waking the option of staying for the day and being with the family became pretty intriguing. However it is Fathers Day and for myself, I couldn't imagine my dad being anywhere else BUT church. So I decided to head back to town. 

MY entire family is together is San Diego right now. That left me attending church on my own today. This is a non-issue for me. So off I went. 

As I walked into the church building I felt a sense of comfort overwhelm me. I sat in our usual pew, the same one I have sat in for the past 25 years of my life. You see, I grew up here. Surrounded by all of these amazing people. 

The talks today focused on Father's and I spent a lot of time thinking about mine. I miss him dearly and love him so much. But I held it together thought the entire meeting. Until. 

Until we sang the closing song, Teach Me To Walk. I remember my cousin, myself, and my dad signing this exact song as a special musical number years and years ago. I completely fell apart.

And there I was, bawling my eyes out, alone. I had my head down and tried to keep pull it together when I glanced up an saw HER. My "other" mom. The woman who once said that she knows in her heart that I was supposed to be hers. This woman has a son who, no matter which direction life takes us, will always be my brother. She saw me and immediately swept me into my arms and rocked me like her own. I sobbed. She soothed. And in a few minutes I was ok. 

We talked about the fact that it will never get easier. We remember what an amazing man my dad was and how much he loved me. And then we went out separate ways. 

On my way out of the chapel, numerous people shared with me their smiles and gentle hugs. 

I realize now what made me decide to come today. I thought it was to feel my dad's presence. I know now it was to be surrounded by family, with mine being so far away. These people have literally raised me alongside my parents. They knew my dad and they watched my relationship with him. If anyone could possibly relate to my sorrow and happiness and total mix of emotions relating to my dad, it would be them.

I am so grateful for the gospel and the blessings it brings to my life daily. I am thankful for my Heavenly Father and the family he has given me. Both genetically and spiritually. I am so blessed for having such an amazing dad who, even in his absence, continues to guide and direct my life by continually watching over me. 

Happy Father's Day. 

<3

Mo