It's almost summer...

If I was a principal and was looking to hire a teacher this is what my job posting would say.

Needed:

Enthusiastic individual looking to inspire the mind of children AND coworkers. This person must be able to work 12+ hour shifts approximately 7 days a week (depending on current state of family upbringing), however must also be satisfied with pay for 8-10 hours, 5 days a week. Applicant must be willing and able too attend all meetings whether they be before school, after school, during lunch, or held on non-work days. (These too will most likely not include paid time.) Overtime pay will not be given but the time IS expected. Daily. Any work that is not finished during normal shift hours will need to be completed on your own time, or consequences will follow. This may mean giving up weekends, holidays, and sleep. 

Our students are unique. We need an educator who can meet the needs of every student all the time. You have approximately 45-60 minutes daily to accomplish this task. Keep in mind that while it is our goal to achieve smaller class sizes, it is in fact, NOT going to happen. So expect a class upwards of 30 or more students. Varying in degrees of understanding, intellect, well being, etc. 

Although it is required that you include the standards you are teaching in your mandatory lesson plans, we also insist that you write these standards out on a board in your classroom so that when an offical-esque person walks into your room they will not need to look at your mandatory lesson plans that you spent all weekend working on. Thanks in advance for making the lives of these people easier. 

Applicants must have strong bladder. Restroom breaks will vary on day and staff availability.

We are short staffed which means that teachers will need to fill duties in other positions throughout the school. These positions include but are not limited to: janitor, nurse, substitute teacher (on your prep time), cafeteria watch, playground watch, before and after school duties, club and teams sponsors, etc. Other roles will make themselves apparent throughout the year. Please be willing to adapt at a moments notice.

Students will be tested annually using a standardized test. While in school, we do not want the teaching to focus strictly on the test at hand, it is expected that students will be educated on all aspects of what will be presented on said test. Teacher pay will be effected yearly based on the achievement of his/her student's performance on the exam. But again, we don't want your focus to be on the test! Just make sure that our students are ready...make sense?

Applicant must work well with ALL co-workers. Like our students, we have a very diverse staff. Our hope is to find an individual who can inspire the less-enthused educators on our campus. This may backfire. We are hoping for an individual who can withstand the push against positive change.

Overall we are hoping for an enthusiastic individual that will enjoy working with children, difficult staff, long hours, little pay, under appreciation, and redundant tasks. We hope you will consider us!

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Ok, ok. Before the backlash begins let me make this statement: This is meant jokingly. I love my job and would not trade it for any other. 

This post makes me sounds a littler bitter towards my chosen career path. And the truth is, I might be. I am frustrated. This line of work seems almost 100% unachieveable at times. But then, I look at my students this year and I consider the growth I have seen and the achievements we have made together. Considering these it makes it all worth while.

The fact is, there are people out there everyday fulfilling all of the above requirements and more. They are your everyday teachers. And I am proud to be one of them.