Tuesday Letters: Letter to Me

"If I could write a letter to me...and send it back in time to myself at 17..." -Tim McGraw

Mo,

You are strong. You have proven that to everyone who knows you and most importantly, to yourself. Cancer is a part of you and yes, in a way it does define you. That is ok. Don't let people tell you otherwise. They don't know where you've been or how you made it out alive. They probably never will.

You are beautiful. Yes. Bald is beautiful. You make it look good. And eventually, your hair will grow and you will still be beautiful. Not more, STILL beautiful. You don't fit into the mold. Your skin is darker than the rest of your family. That spot in your tooth will never go away. You never will "grow in to your nose". You will struggle forever in your search for a pair of pants that fit over your big booty AND around your tiny waist. People will criticize and poke fun. That's life. And eventually, life will bring you a man who loves all those "prefect imperfections". It's true. Promise.

That high school love of yours will break your heart. And boy it will hurt. You will think it will never heal. Guess what...it does. And it will break again. And again. But, remember that man that will love your imperfections? Yeah. Well, I hate to tell you that he WON'T pick up the pieces that your past left behind. Nope. He is so much bigger than that. He will actually show you a part of your heart you didn't even know existed. It is buried under all that ooey-gooey high school equivalent of love. You can't see it now. You can't feel it either. You don't even believe it exists. It's there though. And it is beautiful.

You are smart. Really. Really really smart. More so than you give yourself credit for. Right now school seems so hard. You've got that "chemo-brain" going on and can't remember what you had for lunch, but it will come back. School is going to be a big part of your life. Huge.

Be nice to Mimi. Always. Every day. Forever.

Don't stress about friends. You'll be alright.

Don't stop dancing. It's what you love. 

Love the gospel. Temptation will try to lead you astray and you'll find yourself feeling a little lost. Turn to your Heavenly Father and you'll find your way back. Avoid the things and people in your life that might lead you in the wrong direction. You've never been a follower. Don't start now.  

Don't be afraid of the future. I know that is hard to say, especially to you. The future came and sucker-punched square in the nose. It's ok though because you fought back and now you are in control. The world is your stage and this is your curtain call. 

Bravo,
25 year old You (with a new last name!)
;)