A Paradigm Shift

"a fundamental change in approach or underlying assumptions"-Google 

That is the definition given for a paradigm shift. And that is what is happening in my life right now.

In my experience, I have used this expression in reference to education. Educators are always dealing with a paradigm shift. Especially right now in the midst of Common Core. But that's not what I am referring to right now.

Right now, this shift is happening in my personal world. For the past few weeks I have started so many posts. Started. My brain has been a mess of puzzle pieces-none of which connect. I have had that tight feeling in my chest that I usually feel leading up to a panic attack. Everything seems to be suspended in mid-air. I am not sure if it's all about to come crashing down, spin around, disappear, or simply fall into its rightful place. I just don't know.

Then my grandma said something last night that put all of those pieces together. She was talking about her struggle with the loss of my dad and  how she has been sort of lost for the past (almost) two years since he has gone on to heaven. And it's true. She has struggled. Terribly. It has been difficult to watch and even harder to try to deal with. The hardest part of it was the fact that I have not known what to do to help her.

After explaining this struggle she has been dealing with she implied that things are starting to get better. And she is feeling better. And something big is coming. And she doesn't know what it is but she's ready for it.

Wow.

To hear this from her, the most cynical woman (in the last 2 years), I nearly fainted. The best thing about it is that I believe her. It's almost like I could see it happening. Whatever it is. It's right there, on the brink of making it's appearance in her life. She is experiencing the essence of that "fundamental change in approach" towards life itself. Finally. Hallelujah!

What really made this conversation even more meaningful was my own realization of this shift in my life. In the last 5 months I have made some big decisions that have greatly impacted my world. Every morning I wake up with a new outlook and feeling more and more happy with each passing day. I am in the midst of creating a paradigm shift for myself and the way I choose to live my life. And I have to say that I am with my grandma when she says something big is about to happen. I don't know what it is or when it will come but it's near; hanging in air like the falling blossoms from my peach tree. I believe that this tightness in my chest is the anticipation of what is to come.

I'm afraid to speculate as to what it could possibly be. All I know is that I am ready.

-Mo